Before we get into my weekend picks, I would like to first, officially throw my name into the ring for the next Athletic Director of University of Tennessee. Now originally I was going to just put my name in for the Head football coaching position but with news breaking of the AD and the school parting ways, I’m not one to pass up an opportunity at more power. So Tennessee board I know you are avid readers of Big Dogs Betting Advice, your one stop shop for betting advice, below you will find why I believe I would excel as the Tennessee AD.
To Whom it May Concern,
Hello, and thank you for taking the time to view my application for the University of Tennessee Athletic Director position, I hope upon reading my qualifications you will agree I am not only the right choice but the only choice. Now I know the position doesn’t actually involve athletic en devours but don’t you think it would be nice to have a real athlete as the athletic director? (Waits for them to answer audibly) I agree, it would be nice, which it what brings me to my first reason to hire me, I consider myself a phenomenal athlete. Now from looking at me you may say, hey big dog, your clearly over weight and are breathing heavily from typing a blog, that’s not very athletic. Well did you know I ran a 5K last week, and only walked a little bit of it? Did you know I was a solid role player for my college intramural teams? Did you know that I own my own bike and have been known to ride it? Exactly you didn’t know any of that so how about next time you take some time to get to know the big dog before you judge him off his appearance alone. So now that I have proved my athleticism, now’s time I prove my athletic knowledge and how it would relate to the AD position. Now as you all know from following my blog, I’m a real sports fan, primarily football and basketball but that doesn’t mean I don’t know some things about the more obscure sports. You don’t want a guy who just knows about two of the sports at Tennessee, you want someone who is knowledgeable about all 20 of Tennessee’s sporting programs. Like that the women’s rowing team competes in the Big 12, or the Tennessee Lady Volunteers basketball team has won eight NCAA Division I titles (1987, 1989, 1991, 1996, 1997, 1998, 2007, 2008). It’s that type of knowledge I bring that would allow me to make all the sports successful. Now onto the what you are all thinking, what are we going to do about our football head coaching position. We cannot let our fans decide who the next coach is going to be, we will never be able to get 100% approval on our next coach. Which is why I believe my plan to be the best option… we appoint myself as also the head football coach. That’s right this is also my application to become the next head football coach at the University of Tennessee. I have already proved my worth as the athletic director, but what makes me think I can be a head football coach as well. For starters as you all know I scored two touchdowns in a high school football game, but it wasn’t a big deal and I’m not gonna spend time talking about it. Secondly, when I assembled an intramural football team in our first year of existence we made the playoffs that’s what I like to call great team management. Thirdly, in high school I was an assistant coach for a local Pee Wee football team and we won the championship. Not only did we win the championship, we went undefeated. Also I wasn’t even gonna throw this in because some might say I’m overly qualified, but I play a shit ton of madden. Not only do I play a shit ton of madden I play as the Jets, and have an online record above .500 (not to brag), and that’s primarily because of superior play calling and time management. So Tennessee, give me a follow on twitter @hylandator25 and shoot me a DM and we can set something up. If you want a one stop fix to all of your problems, you know where to look.
Love, Big Dog
For this weekend I’ve decided to give one pick for all the power 5 conference championship games as well as for the american and the MAC.
PAC 10: USC (-4) vs Stanford
Play: USC (-4), they meet earlier in the season and USC won by 18, and Bryce Love has been battling an ankle injury the past few weeks so I expect USC to cover here. Also watch for this to be a game where Darnold plays out of his mind, (and by out of his mind I mean only 1 INT) and stakes his claim on the #1 pick. Now I personally think he stinks unless he gets drafted by the Jets in which case I’ll be forced to be all in on him, but this is the type of game against a good team in a big spot where if he plays well he’ll be at the top of alot of teams draft boards.
CONF. USA: FAU (-11.5) vs UNT
Play: FAU (-11.5), last time I bet against UNT they burnt me and covered against Army, but I think FAU rolls in this one. Lane Kiffen has been on a heater, with all the turmoil at the Tennessee job and his fire tweets, I fully expect him to keep it rolling. Also they played during the season, and FAU put up 69(nice) on UNT.
AMERICAN: MEM vs UCF O/U: 81
Play: Over 81, everything in me is telling me this bet is going to lose but I just don’t care. 81 is a preposterously high number, but these teams both play no huddle offenses and are two of the higher scoring teams in the country. This is a game your gonna wanna watch because it has a chance to be crazy high scoring which is what all of our simple brains want to see.
MAC: Toledo (-21) vs Akron
Play: Akron (+21), the Zips are back to the promised land(Detroit, MI) and I expect them to cover. This is Akron’s first time in the MAC championship since 2005 and they are going to be fired up. Akron fucked me by not covering their -14 spread last week even though they lead by 17 at half and played the most boring second half of MAC football of all time, but they will come out ready and will keep it close, and by close I mean like 14 points.
SEC: Auburn vs Georgia O/U: 48
Play: Under 48, my heart is telling me that Georgia will win, Auburn has beat the number 1 team 2 times in the past 3 weeks I think they might have a let down in this one but I don’t feel right betting against them. I do however feel comfortable with the under play here, two great defenses in a championship game where defense is what will win it, I like the under here.
ACC: Clemson (-9) vs Miami
Play: Clemson (-9), Miami lost by 10 to Pitt, the end.
BIG 10: Ohio State vs Wisconsin O/U 51
Play: Under 51, Wisconsin has one of the better defensive teams in the country, and Ohio State has a better defensive line than NFL teams (as proclaimed by their coach so you know it to be true). Throw onto that, that JT Barrett is battling a knee injury I expect this to be a classic Big 10 game where the final score is 13-10 and there are combined 69 punts.
BIG 12: Oklahoma (-7) vs TCU
Play: OK (-7), Baker Mayfield is going to show TCU who is their daddy, and solidify himself as the future Jets starting quarterback.
Looks pretty good in Jets green if I do say so myself.
Onto NFL Picks:
I’d like to first say that I already got the Thursday night game right, I may not have blogged it but I was a boy scout so I don’t lie, so trust me when I say I got that game right.
SF @ CHI (-3)
Play: SF (+3), the Jimmy G era start off in San Fran against the QB that San Fran didn’t think was worth the #2 pick in last years draft. I think both these teams stink but I think SF will win because idk, I like to gamble on games I don’t feel passionately about, who really cares anyway both teams stink.
NE (-9) @ BUF
Play: BUFF (+9), Bills Mafia is gonna be out in full force, their gonna be slamming beers and breaking tables, the Ralph is gonna be rocking this is the Bills year to finally get back to the promised land!
Just kidding, play the Patriots (-9)
MIN @ ATL(-3)
Play: MIN (+3), Case Keenum is actually a viable QB which is something I don’t think even his mother saw coming, couple that with the fact the the Vikings Defense is dominant I fully expect them to cover a 3 point spread.
CAR @ NO (-5)
Play: CAR (+5), the Panthers covered against the Jets last week who are far superior to the bitch ass Saints so I fully expect them to cover a 5 point spread. While it is true what I said last week about Cam sucking on the road, the Saints secondary is beat up, and Cam will still be drunk from Bourbon street the night before so he’ll be playing that loose play style that makes him great.
LA (-7) @ ARI
Play: LA (-7), Their are alot of creeps in Hollywood but that doesn’t seem to be slowing down the Rams as they creep toward the playoffs… Rams are good and the Cardinals are starting Blaine Gabbert Rams by 20.
NYG @ OAK (-8.5)
Play: OAK (-8.5), Geno Smith is starting for the Giants.
Alright everyone, enjoy this weekend of football and beer (assuming you are above the legal drinking age of 15) and lets see some winners. It’s been a tough look to have a blog titled betting advice and been performing so poorly, but hopefully we can turn that around!
Also follow me on twitter @hylandator25 if you don’t already.
I watched you get repeatedly 360 windmill dunked on every game in intramural basketball you massive pussy. Actually learn how to run the green monster offense.
The green monster offense (as developed by me) was the most dominant system to ever be implemented and your small pea brain wouldn’t even begin to comprehend the nuances of such a thing. So screw you bill
I gaurantee that my 4 point shot percentage (100%) would dominate the green monster in any given situation.
I’m a massive pussy.